Yesterday I woke up with Annson's arm wrapped around my neck clenching his favorite dinosaur, sound asleep. Such a moment of love and innocence. I tried not to move as I snapped this picture.
The emotional side of me shed a tear of happiness as flashes of moments in time invaded my early morning thoughts. I've increasingly tried to journal about these moments to capture them from my ever wandering mind. It's interesting to look back on my thoughts and Annson's antics and be reminded of the joy that is this whole fatherhood thing.
I think I'm understanding more why my mom always said, "Stop Growing Up!". Raychel frequently makes this request to Annson. So far, he's not been listening. It's strange the weird amount of pain there is in watching your child grow up. Perhaps you see them about to lose their child-like innocence, maybe they are getting more and more independent and not as interested in snuggling in to read bedtime stories. Luckily Annson still loves to snuggle with his Daddy and Mommy and read books. When he stops liking that we will both need counseling. Perhaps it's painful because we know that life is tough and just gets tougher. Life is hard and the closer we see our children get to adulthood the more impending those realities become. The idea that I won't always be able to protect him crushes me and devastates his mother.
I earnestly try to cherish each moment. I'm very aware that our time here on earth is inherently brief. As we get older our bodies can fail and our memories can leave us. Sometimes I get discouraged at this thought then I'm reminded that we aren't created for this earth. We're eternally created. These few years I'm given I want to enjoy daily. That doesn't happen without intention. I fail often but am frequently reminded and brought back on course. Too often, from the personality of my incredible son. Yes, my body might betray me some day or my mind may lose memories I wouldn't soon want to forget. However, I can't live in fear of what I don't, ultimately have any control of anyway. In that regard, I am more often finding beauty in the ordinary everyday moments of this life I've been given.
So here's to small moments. Here's to embracing and cherishing the brevity of life. Here's to smiling through all the milestones. Here's to crying through all the milestones. Here's to the flashes.
Blessed you stopped by.
FOR YOU: What flashes come to mind when you reflect on your life to this point? Good or bad, it's cathartic to put it into words. Thankful to hear your story.